Lily’s Reflection:
July 27 2019: It has now been exactly a month since I
finished this 200km section of the Camino de Santiago. I’m still not entirely
sure what takeaways I have from it, I am still reflecting on my
experience. When I first came home, I
was, of course, sad for it to be over, but I was also very excited to see my
family, and sleep in my own home. The more time that goes by, the more I yearn
for the lifestyle I had while walking. The minimalism and constant moving was
very different from my usual life in a suburban house. Although packing so few
things made me a little nervous, and walking all day every day for ten days
straight is not something I had ever done before, I grew quickly accustomed to
life on the Camino.
Just like all of the other pilgrims, I brought very few
things with me. Three outfits, two pairs of shoes, a journal, a book, a camera,
a jacket, first aide, a water bottle, and a sleeping sack. It was all placed in
a single bag that I placed on my back, and, using only the power of my body, I
carried it and myself across 200km over 10 days. But before that, when I was
sitting in my bedroom at, home packing my bag for the first time, I realized I
had too much stuff. Through a long process and many small decisions, I removed
4 lbs from my pack. I knew I didn’t need 6 pairs of socks, an extra book, a
winter hat, or a fourth shirt, but deciding to leave each of those things
behind filled me with a little bit of fear. I was accustomed to having so much
more - and I felt a little vulnerable without “my stuff.”
Despite the energy it originally took to pare down, the
minimalism soon became extremely freeing. I knew exactly what I had, and knew
where it was. I normally have trouble keeping track of my things, but on the
Camino, I had so few things that I didn’t have to put any work into keeping
track of them. I had exactly what I needed, nothing in excess, nothing to lose.
Looking around my room at the stuff that I “love” it now feels a little
confining. I have too many choices when picking out my clothes, I have so many
things to keep track of, I have too many nick nacks that I can’t seem to get
rid of. Owning things takes energy.
It was also freeing to know that I had the power to move. I
had the physical power to move my own
body, and to bring all of my belongings with me. I also was not attached to any
one location like I am at my home, or even when on vacation. Every night I
slept on a different bed, in a different building in a different town. I was
untethered. My identity was separated from anything I owned or any place I
lived. Instead I identified with the experience, the path, and the people.
The practice of daily walking also freed and empowered
me. It freed me from hurrying and gave me time to think. We had no need to go
faster than 3 miles per hour and there was little rush. Unlike when driving in
a car, I had plenty of time to notice everything around me, especially since I
was fully immersed in the environment. The repetitive, soothing, nature of
walking offered great time for thinking and talking. It was also incredible
when I realized that for ten days my only source of transportation had been
walking - its incredible the things our body can do that we forget to give it
credit for!
On the Camino I remember feeling like it was the first time
I was truly living. Not that I felt suddenly awake after a long time stumbling
through a dreary dream, but thinking about school or my experiences at home was
like recalling the plotline of a movie. My life in Vermont didn’t feel as
important or real once I was in Spain.
Also, during the daily walk, I remembered the evening as if it had been
nothing more than a dream. But when I ate dinner with my fellow pilgrims, the
walk that we had completed just hours ago felt unreal, like I had made it up in
my head. I think that maybe I was fully in the moment for the first time.
Although I did think about the past and the future, none of those thoughts or
feelings distracted me from the present moment. Even when I was homesick or my
feet were hurting was still grounded and snugly in the moment. Nothing felt as
important as the events surrounding me.
It is interesting that never staying still made me feel
grounded. Despite our moving, and always being in a new place, we had a very
consistent routine. We got up early and packed up, we would walk about a half
mile until we found a good place to eat. We would eat toast and jelly or a
pastry, and coffee or freshly squeezed orange juice for breakfast. We would
walk for a few more miles until we needed a restroom or water. At about 1:00 we
would stop once again for lunch, usually we would get sandwiches, or an egg, or
grab snacks at a small grocery store. At about 3:00 we would arrive at our new
albergue. Exhausted, we all would take off our shoes, and begin getting ready to
shower. There were usually only a few showers, so we took turns. Within a few
hours everyone would have showered, changed into clean clothes, and have their
bags unpacked and their new beds made. At some point in there, we each would
have paid the small fee for the albergue and gotten our pilgrim passports
stamped. We would then relax for the next few hours in the sun - which after a
full day of walking was the best thing you could do. At about 6 or 7 each night
we would eat dinner, either together at the albergue or in small groups at
restaurants around the city. Then, we would talk, write, read or play card
games until 9 or 10 at night, when the albergue’s lights would be turned out
and we would all fall into a wonderful but uncomfortable sleep. The next day,
we would do it all over again.
Again, I think I am still digesting my experiences on the
Camino, and I’m still reflecting on it. But already it has taught me a lot
about how I want to live my life. I know that although I experienced the Camino
the other 11 pilgrims from Essex Vermont, we all had our own experiences and
probably our own takeaways from the trip. It is impossible for my journal and
reflection to fully reflect the pilgrimage of 12 people, but I hope that it
gives a satisfactory taste of our experience.
